This morning I woke up in a different state. Amun is almost finished with my first suit. I watched her put her very soul into this suit. I had the privilege of fully trying it on for the first time. The moment I donned the shirt, vest, and trousers, I instantly experienced energy in my body. My spine instantly straightened and my chin lifted. I felt pride, honor, gratefulness, appreciation, loved, valued, cherished. I felt the electricity Amun had orchestrated— from her own nervous system…. from her own metabolism… from her own breath, which supplies the oxygen her mitochondria demand to maintain her existence. Amun enchanted energy into my suit. Every thread holding the suit together was threaded by her own heart threads. The fascia of my suit is charged with her own life force. I felt this personally and close to my heart. I am truly honored to experience Craftswomanship.
The Flame spoke to me in that moment as I reviewed the fitting and marveled at the weaving around my body. I felt stirred in the heart. The Flame, The Original Artist, once again worked in its abstract and unexpected techniques—a way to bypass my ego, straight to my heart. The suit Amun created was not only thread and fabric but an undistorted mirror to my soul. It became an honest self reflection on the quality in how I have been walking on this Earth for the past 35 years. My Consumption to Creation ratio is severely imbalanced. Growing up in America, I have done NOTHING but CONSUME. Consume food, Consume supplements, Consume Media, Consume the Air, Consume the land, Consume the time of others, Consume the energy grid, Consume my own energy through ego, Consume my own thoughts, Consume others thoughts in the form of information— movies, music, video games, tutorials, books, theories, art, speeches. Consume. Consume. CONSUME. CONSUME.
The flip side: I do create. I create in my head, I create in my head frequently. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I am not God-mode Creator. I cannot mold vibration and matter from pure thought alone (at least not in this evolutionary state we are in). Until we break that human limit, we are bound to creating with words and hands. So, my “creations” rarely translate into reality—where it COUNTS. And when I do bring it into reality, it is half finished and abandoned when it no longer serves my dopamine levels.
Most importantly, I realized I do not share my own art. To be an artist now is to keep the creative flame alive in an age where the Machine tries to imitate creation. It cannot and will not replace the human soul, but we must still do our part: create anyway.…with more heat and sharper tools. To be a creative is to also share and tend to another artist’s flame with our own creation. I, personally, have not been giving back as an artist. I take the inspiration of others and metabolize it into feel-good hormones instead of joining the creators and consecrating my energy into living mirrors for others. Creator-Artists are now more important than ever; The Flame must be tended to now more than ever.
I have been producing nothing but a debt through my consumption. I have been asleep in passive consumption and now I return to active creation. Turning my ways isn’t just seeing and feeling where I need to change but using it as information and alchemizing that information into embodied living that puts a skeleton into otherwise empty words.
Today, I am fasting from food, electronics (after this post) and anything else that brings a hit of dopamine. I will focus on art and practicing patience.
Thank you Amun, my wife, for always being an inspiration in my life. The First Fire always channeling the Original Fire.